Modern Psychology, Emotional Awareness, and Psychotherapy

Michael Demb
Nov 6
5 min read

Introduction

Good afternoon, everyone.

Today’s lecture explores the intricate relationship between mental health, emotions, and psychotherapy. It is based on two connected presentations—one by Lev, delivered in English, and a continuation by Tatiana, who specializes in pharmacology and psychology.

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), health is defined not merely as the absence of disease but as a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being. Therefore, understanding psychological health is equally vital as physical health.

1. Emotional Awareness and Alexithymia

Tatiana begins with an important concept — alexithymia, which refers to the inability to identify and describe one’s own emotions.

This phenomenon often begins in childhood socialization, especially among boys, who are frequently told:

“Don’t cry.”
“Be strong.”
“Men don’t show feelings.”

As a result, many men grow up unable to recognize or verbalize their emotions. This leads to chronic emotional suppression, which in turn contributes to stress-related illnesses such as hypertension, heart disease, and even heart attacks after midlife.

In contrast, girls are generally allowed to cry, which has a cathartic effect—crying releases stress hormones and stabilizes emotional states. This physiological difference partly explains why women, statistically, have lower rates of certain stress-induced conditions.

2. Who Needs Psychotherapy—and Who Doesn’t

Psychotherapy is not for everyone, nor does everyone need it all the time.

Some people naturally maintain mental balance through healthy coping mechanisms, such as:

Regular exercise (which increases endorphins and reduces cortisol)
Meditation or prayer
Strong social support networks
Creative expression or meaningful hobbies

A person with a stable psyche and supportive environment might not need therapy.

However, those who experience emotional instability, isolation, or lack of coping tools may benefit greatly.

The Four Temperaments and Therapy Needs

From classical typology:

Sanguine and phlegmatic personalities are typically stable and less prone to crises.
Choleric and melancholic personalities, however, are more sensitive and emotionally reactive—hence, more likely to need psychological support.

3. The Role of Social Support

Research consistently shows that social connectedness is one of the most protective factors for mental health.

Psychologists estimate that, for emotional stability, a person needs at least seven meaningful social connections—people of different ages, backgrounds, and genders.

Isolation, in contrast, is a major risk factor for depression, anxiety, and even psychosomatic illness.

4. Main Categories of Psychotherapy Clients

Tatiana identifies several types of people who typically seek therapy:

a.

Crisis Clients

Those facing acute stress, such as:

Bereavement
Divorce
Job loss
Midlife crisis
Existential feelings of meaninglessness

b.

Clients with Psychological Disorders

Such as:

Anxiety disorders
Panic attacks
Depression
Personality disorders (especially borderline and narcissistic types)

c.

Repetitive Relationship Patterns

For example, people repeatedly entering toxic or abusive relationships.

One example shared was a woman who consistently chose alcoholic partners—not because she wanted to suffer, but because she subconsciously knew how to behave in that familiar dynamic. This is called repetition compulsion, first described by Freud.

d.

Low Self-Esteem and Loneliness

Many adults who were criticized or neglected in childhood develop chronic self-doubt.

As writer Viktoria Tokareva noted, “Those humiliated in childhood rarely know their worth. They either undervalue or overvalue themselves.”

e.

Self-Development Clients

Not all therapy is about pathology. Some people come because “something feels off” — they want to unlock potential, increase authenticity, or find life purpose.

f.

Psychosomatic Complaints

Around 70% of gastrointestinal complaints are functional, meaning no medical pathology is found. These often stem from chronic anxiety or emotional repression.

g.

Addictions

Therapy cannot “cure” addiction but can help transform it into a healthier, socially acceptable form (e.g., from alcoholism to sports or art).

h.

Children and Adolescents

Teenagers today face:

Information overload
Attention deficits
Identity crises
Early depression and suicidality

Even mild depressive symptoms can lead to suicidal behavior due to emotional impulsivity and hormonal instability.

Lack of understanding from parents or peers worsens this isolation.

5. Gender Differences in Psychological Crises

Midlife Crisis

Occurs typically between ages 35–50.

For women: It’s often a time of rediscovery — shifting focus from family to self-fulfillment after years of caregiving.
For men: It can feel like the end of significance — fear of decline, loss of virility, and unrealized ambitions. This often leads to new relationships or drastic lifestyle changes.

Late-Life or “Crisis of Completion”

More common among women during menopause due to hormonal changes (lower estrogen), and reinforced by ageism and the cult of youth in modern culture.

Both men and women may experience depression during this stage.

Men’s equivalent, sometimes called andropause, is associated with a gradual decline in testosterone and energy, often misdiagnosed or ignored.

6. Time Orientation in Mental Health

Therapists often assess a person’s relationship with time:

Those living in the past (e.g., veterans) often struggle to adapt, clinging to a world that once made sense.
Those living in the future (e.g., dreamers or perfectionists) chase goals endlessly but never feel present.
The healthiest psychological stance is to live in the present, as promoted in mindfulness and Buddhist teachings.

7. Authentic Emotions and Their Role

Psychology identifies four core emotions:

Joy
Anger
Fear
Sadness

All others are combinations or distortions.

When these emotions are suppressed or replaced, psychological tension arises.

Example: A child forbidden to express anger may cry instead; a woman told “nice girls don’t get angry” may smile while seething inside. Over time, this leads to emotional exhaustion.

8. Transactional Analysis: The Three Ego States

Tatiana explains Eric Berne’s Transactional Analysis (TA) model:

Parent: moral rules, prohibitions (“You must”, “You should”)
Adult: rational, objective, responsible decision-maker
Child: emotional, spontaneous, creative—but also fearful

A healthy person maintains balance and communication among all three.

When one dominates—for instance, the Parent suppressing the Child—inner conflict and anxiety develop.

During dictatorial social regimes, the “Adult” (critical thinking) is suppressed, while the “Parent” (authority, obedience) is inflated—leading to mass submission and emotional epidemics, as described by Wilhelm Reich in The Mass Psychology of Fascism (1933).

9. Decision-Making and the Inner Dialogue

To make balanced decisions, we must integrate three inner roles:

Dreamer (Child) – visionary and creative
Critic (Parent) – evaluative, cautious
Realist (Adult) – logical and practical

When these voices cooperate rather than conflict, we make wiser, more sustainable life choices.

10. The Goal of Psychotherapy

The ultimate goal of therapy is not to “fix” someone but to help them become the best version of themselves — self-aware, emotionally balanced, and authentic.

As Tatiana summarized:

“You are not guilty — you are responsible.”

Through therapy, we regain energy lost to repression, become more spontaneous, and reconnect with others and ourselves.

11. Recommended Reading

Roberto Assagioli – Psychosynthesis
Explores personal identity and self-integration through exercises of self-awareness.
Ian Stewart & Vann Joines – TA Today: A New Introduction to Transactional Analysis
A clear, practical guide with exercises for understanding ego states and communication.
Christian Carre – Transactional Analysis in Business
Shows how TA applies to leadership, motivation, and workplace psychology.
Irvin D. Yalom – Love’s Executioner, The Schopenhauer Cure, When Nietzsche Wept
Fiction blended with therapy insights—readable and profound.
Viktor Frankl – Man’s Search for Meaning
A cornerstone of existential psychology; how purpose sustains life even in suffering.
Wilhelm Reich – The Mass Psychology of Fascism
Explains how emotional repression leads to societal authoritarianism.

Conclusion

Psychological well-being begins with self-awareness:

Knowing your emotions and needs
Recognizing your inner voices
Building meaningful connections
Maintaining authenticity and critical thinking

Psychotherapy is not weakness—it is a path to freedom, self-knowledge, and wholeness.

“The goal of therapy is not to change who you are, but to help you become who you truly are.”